“A real friend is like a four-leaf clover: hard to find and lucky to have.”
There have been countless times on my blog where I have discussed the importance of surrounding yourself with good company and excellent friends. I think good friends are the best thing a person can have because they are the family you get to choose. Growing up I struggled with making real friends. I had “friends” that I kept around utterly because they made me feel accepted, or friends that I would entertain solely because I was bored.
My past experiences taught me how hard it actually is to find a true friend because it was hard to understand other people’s motives and their intentions were not clear. That makes it difficult to know who is a true friend, and who is just taking advantage of you. Luckily in college, I have made some genuine friends. They all possess these essential characteristics that embody what a true friend is. I thought long and hard about the top five traits each of my closest friends possess, and I want to share them with you. Here are my
5 Characteristics of a True Friend
A true friend will always be there for you when you need them. Whether you just had a major family crisis and need an ear to vent to or maybe you’re out of money and need $5 for laundry. No matter what, a true friend will have no problem getting their hands dirty and fighting in the sand with you. They will always do their absolute best to make sure you have what you need, and they will support you no matter what. The best way to test a true friend is to hit them with a crisis that you know they have the resources to help you with and see how they react. If that person is a true friend they will assist if they aren’t, they will resist and won’t help you. Always appreciate the ones that have your back in a crisis and don’t make you feel bad about it.
A true friend will always hold you accountable. I have a best friend named Kevin, who always gets on me about my eating and drinking habits. Every day he will call me reminding me,
“Chris did you hit the gym?”
“Chris what did you eat today, you know you have to get that body right.”
I hate him for always holding me accountable, but I know that it’s all in the name of friendship. Share your goals with your friends and see if they hold you accountable enough to help you achieve them. A true friend will never let you look less than your best, act a fool or wander off from your goals. True friends bring out the best in each other by holding each other accountable.
The best characteristic of a true friend is trust-worthiness. When evaluating your friends ask yourself,
“Can I trust this person?”
“Is my back covered?”
“Would my friend ever do something to dishonor me?”
A true friend talks positively behind your back and doesn’t tell your secrets. My brother, Corbin is one of the most trustworthy people I know. I could tell that brother my social security number and give him my debit card and rest knowing that he wouldn’t do anything to dishonor me. A True friend is one you can trust with your secrets, your resources, and your most coveted valuables.
A true friend will always keep it real with you and tell you the truth even when it hurts. My friend Cheyenne is an expert at this. Cheyenne keeps it 100% real with me at all times and makes sure I do with other people as well. She will tell me when others talk about me, what they say, how they say it she always is very honest. You can’t have a true friendship with someone who doesn’t tell you the truth. Keep it real with your friends, hurt them if you have to but never compromise your integrity for your friend’s feelings. Sometimes the truth hurts but the truth hurts so much less from someone you care about and cares about you than someone you don’t.
A true friend will give you the shirt off their back if they need to. They will provide you with time, energy and resources no matter what the situation is. I’ll never forget one time I was at Morehouse and was sick as a dog, and my friend Jamil came to my room with soup, lemon, cough drops, and tea just to make sure that I was good.
Don’t ever buy into the rhetoric that generosity between two men is emasculating or inappropriate. It’s called Brotherhood.
(they don’t teach black men that though but it applies to everyone)
A true friend will always do everything in their power to give you whatever they got. If you have a real friend, reflect on how much of their time, energy, and resources they give you in a week. We all are busy, we all have expenses and a lot going on but the ones who make the effort to give you the best they got, those are your real friends.
I hope that after reading this article, you can evaluate some of the people in your lives and realize that you have some true friends. It’s also important to remember that friendship, like any other relationship, works both ways. My mother always used to say, “If you want a friend, be a friend.” That statement is true. If a person doesn’t have a true friend, it maybe because they don’t possess some of the characteristics above. If you do have a genuine friend, call them up or text them and let them know they are appreciated.
Friendship is one of life’s greatest treasures. IF you feel maybe you don’t have a real friend look over the list and evaluate some of the traits you possess and how you can improve. Friendship is something everyone should experience so if you haven’t, go out there and find a friend soon, so you can experience the magic of real friendship
You Deserve It