“Why do you call yourself THE Chris Sumlin, who are you to call yourself that?”
“How do you speak so confidently in front of everyone no matter where you are?”
“How are you so confident?”
Finally, the moment we all have been waiting for; the guy with the “most self-confidence ever” is finally teaching other’s how to be more confident.
The questions above are ones that I get all the time. Everywhere I go people always comment on how “confident” I am. Some people call me arrogant and obnoxiously full of myself. Others respect it and want to know where I get it from. Either way, you look at it, I guess I am a pretty confident person.
Like anyone else, I have my flaws, things about myself that I wish I could change and fears about how I’m perceived. But being confident is something I work to achieve daily. I believe that self-confidence is like a muscle. It is something you develop over time and work to maintain. I don’t have it perfect yet, but I genuinely believe that I have some tips to get you well on your way to having supreme self-confidence.
Here Are My 5 Tips To Having The Self Confidence Of A Superstar
1. Think Of Yourself Less
Wow! How contradictory right? I read a quote on Instagram last week that stated, “Stop Overthinking! You Are Only Creating Problems That Aren’t There?” This quote helped me with my self-confidence.
When I’m at Morehouse and in Convocation or at a panel discussion, I love asking questions during the Q&A portion. If you are ever at an event with me, that has an audience, and there is space for questions, you can best believe I’m asking one. Every time, I repeat EVERY time, I get ready to ask a question I get terrified. I start shaking; my palms are sweating, and I get very nervous. The reason I panic is because I start over thinking.
I wonder, “Who is NOT going to like my question?”
“Will I sound dumb when I speak?”
“What if I mess up?”
All of that over thinking causes fear and doubt in my mind. This instance is one where I have to practice thinking of myself less. My advice to you is to never over think your situation. It is so easy to overthink and create a fictional narrative that will cause self-doubt.
With any circumstance release your inhibitions about it, think about yourself less and jump.
2. Tell Yourself A Good Story
Being self-critical is one of the biggest hindrances to self-confidence. There are so many people that constantly tell themselves they aren’t good enough. Every moment we have to be cognizant of the thoughts and ideas that we tell ourselves about ourselves. When you are in your head, talking to yourself always ask yourself, “Would I say this to a friend, child or someone I cared about; if the answer is no, don’t think it. Always tell yourself a good story.
3. Surround Yourself With Good Company
Having good company is always imperative to any situation. Good friends and good family will make you feel special even on your worst day. When I was a teenager, I was always bullied. I was constantly told I was ugly and weird.
(Isn’t that insane? Who would have ever thought?)
I undoubtedly could have believed the people at my middle school who bullied me; Instead, I would listen to my grandmother who always told me I was handsome and special even when I thought that I wasn’t. Thanks, Nanny!
Moral of the story, surround yourself with good people who will lift you up when the world is trying to put you down.
4. Invest In Yourself
Always invest in yourself; it’s not selfish it’s self-love. Nothing makes me feel more confident than a new outfit I just bought, a haircut or when I’ve read a new book. When I take time for myself, it makes me feel confident and good. There is nothing wrong with taking care of yourself first. Get haircuts, get manicures, exercise and honor yourself. You can not be of service to the world, your family, your friends if you have nothing within yourself to offer.
5. Understand Your “Youness.”
Everyone knows I love the Kardashians, I follow all of them and watch the reality show religiously. No shame in my game. One week I was watching Keeping Up With the Kardashians and there was an episode where Kylie released a new lip kit. The lip kit was so special because there were limited quantities. In the episode, Kylie released the lip gloss, and her website crashed. Her website crashed because there was only a limited supply of lip gloss and everyone wanted that particular lip kit because it was from Kylie.
Of course, there were many lip glosses in the world, but Kylie’s fans wanted that kit because it was special. Now you probably think how that relates to you. It relates to you because you are the lip kit. While there were hundreds of lip kits from Kylie in stock, there is only one you!
That is your power.
When something is rare and unique, that alone makes it valuable. Always understand that no matter who comes around and what happens no one will ever be able to be another you! When you flow through life with that disposition, that alone will make you more confident.
Confidence is not something that you get overnight but with the right intention and practice, it can surely be obtained. If you apply these five tips to your life and use good judgment, you have the self-confidence of a superstar before you know it. Now that you have this knowledge and advice start today and live unapologetically.
You have what it takes to be a confident superstar so go out there and make it happen; you deserve it.