8 Tips To Being A Good Friend

8 Tips To Being A Good Friend

I would rather walk with a friend in the dark, than alone in the light”. — Unknown

To listen to this blog on the podcast CLICK HERE.

Recently I was reviewing my podcast and website data analytics. Using the platforms that I use, I’m able to see which podcast episodes are the most listened to and which blog posts gain the most traffic. To my surprise, I found that my most streamed podcast episode is entitled, “30 Days with No Friends,” and my most read blog is “The 5 Characteristics of A True Friend”. Of all my adventures, content, and posts, it is clear to me that my audience is fascinated with the idea of friendship. 

When I learned that these two pieces of content were my most clicked on, I felt the need to create more content on friendship. I believe that friendship is one of the most essential needs of every human being, that most people don’t get a chance to experience. Think about how many people you know who genuinely have good friends, do you identify as one of them? If you had to name at least three people that you know you could call on in a crisis would you have three? Would you have one? With the use of Facebook and social media, the classic definition of the term “friend” has changed. I have over 3,500 Facebook friends, but I know that if I was in a bind, I could probably only rely on ten of those friends, and more realistically, maybe only five. 

Luckily, I do believe that I have some real friends in my life. I have been blessed with some incredible people that I can call on if things were to really get tough. My mother used to always tell me that if you want a friend, you have to be a friend. Throughout college, I made some wonderful friendships because I worked hard at doing my best to be a good friend. With that said, I would like to share eight tips to being a good friend. 

1. Practice Integrity 

The textbook definition of integrity is the practice of being honest and showing consistent and uncompromising adherence to strong moral and ethical principles and values. I define integrity as the practice of your words and actions being in alignment. All of my closest friends do their best to practice integrity. Don’t you hate it when a person says they are going to do something and doesn’t? It makes it challenging to try to build a relationship with someone who has no integrity because without integrity you can’t have trust. 

2. Validate Feelings 

 We all have bad days and low moments, and anyone who says they don’t is lying. When you’re going through a hard time, having good friends around makes it easier. I can’t count how many times I will find myself loathing over a situation, and my friend says, “I know exactly how you feel, and I’ve been there.” Validating feelings makes people feel less alone. Next time a comrade comes to you in the midst of a trial don’t shut them down. Don’t say things like “oh get over it” or “that’s not a big deal,” there’s a kinder way to say these things while also acknowledging that your friend may really be going through a hard time. Validating feelings is a reliable way to show up for your friend and build a better relationship. 

3. Authentically Listen 

Oprah once said, “I’ve talked to nearly 30,000 people on [my] show, and all 30,000 had one thing in common: “They all wanted validation. They want to know: ‘Do you see me? Do you hear me? Does what I say mean anything to you?'” As stated before, validating people’s feelings is crucial to building a solid friendship. Still, the only way to do that is by authentically listening. I encourage you to make that effort to listen intentionally to your friends. Don’t just listen to their words but their body language and facial expressions. People will show you how to treat them, but when they do, we have to listen and do so authentically. 

4. Remember the Small Details 

When you listen to your friends and remember small details about them, it shows them that you care. I have a best friend named Corbin, and one of the reasons why Corbin is a good friend is because he does a great job of remembering small details. For example, I’m not a movie watcher, I don’t particularly enjoy binge-watching television series either. Corbin knows this and would never try to have us bond over watching a fiction movie. If it’s not a documentary or a limited non-fiction series, he knows it will send me right to sleep. Be like Corbin and remember small details about your friends because it shows that not only that you pay attention but also that you care. 

5. Give Selflessly 

The worst kind of friends are the ones that give with the mindset that they will get something back in return. My mother used to always tell me never to be a tick for tack, kind of person. When you’re with your friends, do your best to give with the intention of giving, not expecting anything in return. Don’t let people take advantage of you, but don’t be that person taking a score of every time you pay for a meal or vice-versa. 

6. Defend Your Friends 

Dr. Martin Luther King once said, “”In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.” I get that everyone is not a fighter, and some people are not confrontational but do your best to stick up for those who call you a friend. Never participate in hot gossip or bask in the shame of your friends. No one wants to be around a person that doesn’t stick up for them when they are not around. 

7. Criticize Gracefully 

One of the best ways to be a good friend is to call your friends out on poor behavior, self-awareness is a difficult task to master. Have you ever tried editing your own paper? Tried to look at your own body in an outfit or smell your own breath? It’s tough. It is essential to have people around you that can criticize you and give you feedback but do so gracefully. Don’t hold back on calling your friends out, but do so in a way that is warm and lead with love. 

8. Bring Out The Best In People 

The most important aspect of being a good friend is to do your best to bring out the best in people. Show up to their events, support their small business ventures, and push them toward success. One of my favorite things with my friends is to speak life into their goals and dreams. Everyone has a vision for themselves, and there is not enough positivity in the world to remind people that they can do whatever they want to. Do your best to try and be that strong positive force in your friends’ life, I can say with experience they will thank you for it. 

Conclusion

Friendship is tricky, my tips and advice are only based on my experience. I can say with confidence that I truly believe that I have made some good friends by implementing these tips. Also, remember that no one is perfect, there are times where I mess up and hurt my friends too. A lot of times, when I’m creating these blogs and podcasts, it is because I need to hear this stuff first. We all are works in progress.

Just do your best to be the best you can be and seek feedback. Friendship is a beautiful thing to have and something we all should be able to experience. I hope that after reviewing these tips and adding them to your life you will get the pleasure of being a good friend. 

Be Inspired.