This past weekend I was conversing with a friend about work. He stated to me how he desired to be promoted and work with a prominent executive at our company. When I inquired about what made him qualified for the promotion he stated,

“They can’t say no to me. I come from nothing, and I’ve made it this far…”

On the one hand, I appreciated and understood his confidence. This is a man who has overcome a lot of obstacles and as a result, believes in himself. I think that self-confidence is healthy, and so when he made that statement, I felt where he was coming from. As the conversation continued, he expressed more of his qualifications, and the conversation was pleasant. Unfortunately, after our interaction, I kept replaying his words in my mind. I couldn’t help but ruminate on the idea of “coming from nothing.”

As a first-generation college graduate, I get it. I have often muttered those same exact words in conversations, in speeches, and even job interviews. I understand what my friend was saying when he made those remarks. As I often do after discussions with friends, I began to ask myself some deep questions.

“Are we the same?”
“Have we both really come from nothing?”
“What good comes out of telling myself and others that ‘story.’?

The answers to these questions have brought me to a new level of thinking that I must share.

Where Does This Thinking Come From?

I do identify as someone who grew up poor. The truth is, growing up, my family and I did, in fact, struggle. I have vivid memories of my parents struggling to make ends meet. As a very young child, I watched my Dad pour all of his resources into his vision of building a church. Going to school, we were on the free and reduced lunch program. There were times when we didn’t have heat in our home or hot water for showers because times were tough. These real memories aren’t something I’m ashamed of, it’s just a part of my story. I’m confident I’m not alone that when I say “I come from nothing,” it is this type of lifestyle we might be referring to.

The Poverty Produced Power

As much as I remember boiling water for a hot bath, and eating beans and hot dogs for dinner, I learned so much about living on faith. My parents taught me so much about trusting God and being optimistic by example. There were moments when our lights would be caught off, and my Dad would make jokes, and we would reminisce about funny church stories. I’ve grown to become a man who can smile no matter what the obstacle because of how I saw my parents act when we faced hardships. No matter what, I always have a sense of groundedness because of my experience as a young child.

To Say I Come From Nothing Is Disrespectful

Sure, we didn’t have much growing up, but I believe I come from a lot. I come from two parents who taught me about work ethic, faith, and treating people with kindness. I come from grandparents who pray for me often and always spoke life into my dreams as I grew up. I come from much.

To say to people, “I have come from nothing” not only disrespects my immediate family but also my ancestors. As a black man, I know that I come from a long lineage of deep African culture and resilient black folk who overcame inhumane obstacles so that I can be who I am today.

We Have To Be Mindful Of Our Words

I genuinely believe that we are responsible for the stories we tell ourselves and others. How disempowering is it to navigate the world, telling myself and others that I “come from nothing.” So often, we move through the world aimlessly saying things, not understanding the power and weight our words hold. I’m working on stopping that, and I hope you join me in working on that goal.

There’s a Maya Angelou quote that says, “I come as one, but I stand as 10,000”. The 10,000 that Maya was referring to were her ancestors and her lineage. How much more impressive of man would that make me if I moved through the world telling myself that truth?

Conclusion

Yes, I did grow up experiencing financial hardships. There were so many things I didn’t have growing up that I still feel inadequate about today. As much as I believe that I have come from nothing, today I realized that I have come from so much more. I’m proud of my upbringing, my parents, and my lineage. I will no longer refer to myself as someone who has “come from nothing,” but as someone who grew up with everything he needed.

If you are like me and have been a person who accepted the belief that you came from nothing, I invite you to reflect on your upbringing. Think about members of your family who did their best to give you everything they could. Reflect on your lineage and think about how powerful your ancestors must have been so that you can be who you are today. I promise that if you take the time to reflect on where you’ve come from, you will realize that you, too, come from so much richness and power. We can’t move through the world, saying we come from nothing because, in reality, regardless of our parent’s financial success, we all have come from so much more.

Be Inspired.