“Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” — Hebrews 13:5
90% of my days are good. I love my life. I’m blessed. But like everyone else, I also have bad days. Days when I struggle with self-worth, overwhelmed with tasks or maybe sick. Last Thursday was one of those days for me. Grad school is getting more intense, and it’s very cold here in Boston.This past week I had a horrible congestion and was so exhausted. I went to class very withdrawn and tired. Because rent is also due this week I had to go to work directly after going to classes. By the time I made it work, I was so tired. Unfortunately, I work a terrible job at a restaurant and was given the task of doing the dishes during my shift. I felt awful. Whenever I’m overwhelmed I try to get centered and pray to gain strength. I define prayer as simply “communication between the creator (God) and the created (Me).”
Standing there in the kitchen at my job I entered the space of prayer. While I was doing dishes, I started talking out loud.
“God I know your ways, I know our relationship and I’m struggling right now. Please don’t forget about me. I need some help. I know my life is in your hands, but I feel forgotten about. Let me know you’re with me. I’m tired”
Luckily no one was around because they probably would’ve thought I was crazy for talking out loud. As I kept doing the dishes, my hands got a little soggy. I went to dry my hands and check my phone. When I held my phone in my hand, I saw the notification.
Kim’s tweets are sent to my phone, so I assumed she was tweeting someone else. Upon opening my Twitter app, I saw that she tweeted ME! I was floored. Naturally, I wanted to share the good news, so I screenshotted the tweet and sent it to my best friend Corbin with the caption, “Bruhhhhhh.”
When I sent the tweet to Corbin, that is when it hit me. I stared at the screenshot to Corbin for a few minutes. Unfortunately, because I was at work and things were busy, I had to help the team. I was quickly called away from my phone and went back into work. The work shift was crazy and didn’t slow down. After work I went straight home to sleep and never had time to truly process.
The next day following the announcement on Facebook and Instagram I got a lot of love. My professor was happy for me, my classmates and of course my Mom. I thoroughly appreciated all of the funny reactions and texts I received. My phone was on fire for a good two days.
After processing what happened, I understand that this moment was more than “just a tweet.” This entire experience taught me three significant principles.
God Will Give You What You Need When You Need It.
In her brilliant book, The Universe Has Your Back, spiritual teacher Gabrielle Bernstein discusses the idea of synchronicity. Synchronicity is defined as the simultaneous occurrence of causally unrelated events and the belief that the simultaneity has meaning beyond mere coincidence. I believe that the Kim Kardashian Tweet was a synchronous moment for sure. In the instant of her tweeting me, I was sick, not feeling well and had just prayed to God for a sign. I have been a Kim Kardashian fan for years, reading her tweets and responding to them, why of all moments would she respond to that tweet if any? This was truly a divine moment.
I’m a pretty confident person, but my confidence is rooted in my individuality. The only reason I celebrate myself and love myself in the way that I do is that realistically, there is no other Christopher Sumlin. This isn’t me bragging it’s a fact. It is also a fact that there is no other you either. You, just like me, are individuals with our own unique experiences and attributes. I say this to say that I don’t think I’m special or better than anyone. I love me just because there is only one me, just like there is only one you which inevitably still makes me “not special.”
What I believe has been the force in my life that has allowed me to have the experiences that I have had is my genuine belief in God and His perfect universe. What I know for sure is that God is working with me continually hearing my prayers and giving me what I need when I need it. The Kim K tweet reiterated that idea for me.
My intention with tweeting out that I aced my paper was only to celebrate myself. I wasn’t trying to go viral, get Kim’s attention or anyone’s for that matter, I just wanted to be proud of myself. I think this idea of celebrating ourselves sometimes gets lost. We accept notions of self-deprecation all the time. We always say stuff to ourselves like, “Wow, I’m such an idiot.” or “You know I’m trash.” Very rarely do we proudly and boldly profess our accomplishments as much as we do our shortcomings. This practice isn’t healthy. It’s okay to be proud of ourselves and share the good news of our small wins as I did in my original tweet Kim responded to.
Everyone Isn’t Gonna Clap
I think Kim Kardashian tweeting me is the coolest thing ever. I know a lot of big words, but I can’t think of a better one to describe this experience other than cool. Although this is how I feel about the situation many others didn’t feel the same way. When The Boston Globe posted an article about this case, the comments were brutal. Initially, The Globe embedded my entire paper in the article for viewers to read after I sent it to a journalist to check out. After reading the article and my paper, some readers were unimpressed with my writing and were very vocal about how they felt. Of course, when I first saw this negative feedback I was surprised, very embarrassed, kind of hurt. At the moment when I started to let the feedback get to me, I was reminded of the words of Theodore Roosevelt.
“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly…and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly,”
One lesson that I keep reminding myself is that whenever something good happens for me, everyone is not going to be happy for me. There are going to be haters, there are going to be people who won’t care about anything I do and that is okay. My wins are not about them. My life is here to inspire the doers and live my best life. If everyone isn’t going to clap that is okay because I can celebrate myself.
This tweet was a moment I needed. Thank you to everyone for all of the love and support from the moment. Thank you, Kim Kardashian West who I’m sure will never know how much this tweet meant to my professor who was so ecstatic about this happening and me. Most importantly, thanks to God for orchestrating the universe in such a way that this moment would ever happen.
I hope my writing continues to shake things up and inspire people.
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