Today is March 1st. The last time I was drunk was December 29th. Wow. I went two whole months without being drunk. For some, this may seem like nothing to celebrate but I’m very proud. I wouldn’t classify myself as a recovering addict but anyone who knows me, knows I love a good cocktail. I enjoy mixing vodka and tonics, having frozen margaritas with the lime garnish and even Hennessy with ⅔’s of ginger ale. In undergrad, drinking was something that became part of my life. Thursdays were the nights that everyone went to Prickly Pear where I would drink more tequila than humanly possible. Friday’s were the days that I went to Blu Cantina after classes and enjoyed Hennessy pitchers. Saturday’s were for kickbacks and home parties.The opportunities to drink were ubiquitous. There was even a moment during my senior year at Morehouse where myself and one of my best friends got drunk at 11:30 am and went to our 12 pm class. That was a mistake!
Coming to Boston the drinking continued, I live in Allston where there are so many liquor stores. It became ritual to finish classes throughout the week and party all weekend with whoever was available. I had a roommate who would drink and do some of the most random, horrendous things. There was a time where he threw up all over the shower, cut his hand wide open and even ran the shower all night long and locked himself out of the bathroom. It was a mess. As these awful and completely avoidable experiences kept happening, something inside me kept saying that I needed to make a change.
During my Fall semester at BU, I returned home to Ohio for Thanksgiving. I have a terrific family that allows me to make decisions for myself. My mother knows I drink, I don’t think she ever truly approved it but she knows that I’m always going to do what I want. For Thanksgiving, while everyone else was bringing mashed potatoes, Mac N Cheese and food; I pulled up to the family function with Tito’s Vodka. I was the official bartender of the Thanksgiving dinner. It was a good time, but again, I knew that I could have made a better choice. Following that dinner, I was invited to a housewarming kickback that weekend. To make a long story short, the kickback took a turn for the worse. Everyone had been drinking and that night I found myself in the most vicious, dehumanizing and brutal verbal confrontation ever.
The morning after the party I knew that had I not drank that the night would’ve gone differently. I wouldn’t have even been in that situation. Upon returning to Boston, the drinking just stopped, cold turkey. I went home for winter break and my best friend turned 21. Luckily her birthday is at the end of the year, so I made the choice to drink with her but, my New Year’s Resolution was to stop drinking during my next semester of school.
This Spring semester I’ve been doing alright. I have been going out less, more focused on my craft as a writer and living what I would call, a better life. As my drinking has drastically reduced I’ve come to some conclusions that I must share.
Drinking Isn’t Needed To Have A Good Time
For me, I’m fun sober. I have a boisterous, fun, room-filling personality. I don’t need liquor to make me dance more, speak my mind or be more of myself.If I feel the need to jump up and rap G-Eazy’s No Limit word for word, I’m going to do so–and do it sober. I told myself that this year I was going to make the most of each day and have fun, REAL FUN. I haven’t been drinking but I still find myself having fun regularly.
Drinking Isn’t Needed To Be More Authentic
I’ve been working on being more authentic this year. In 2018, I’ve made real effort on being myself, for myself and not letting anyone box me in. I’m not going to code switch, resist the urge to dance or hold my tongue for anyone. I truly believe that authenticity is a practice. I can either show up and allow my true self to be seen or not. I choose the former. It’s a cop-out to need a drink to be more of who you are. The whole “Drunk Confidence” complex for me is over, the same wild, fun and free person I am drunk is the same person I‘m trying to be sober. This practice has caused me to be more free in my skin and live more wholeheartedly.
You Are Your Friends
In Boston, I’m alone most of the time. I’m either in class, in the gym or in the bed. I think the only reason I have been able to stop drinking this year is that I haven’t been around drinkers. This realization has caused me to become more selective about who I want to spend my time with. Honestly, drinking isn’t going to get me anywhere. As I continue this year I want to surround myself with people who are reading books, in the gym and working on passion projects so much that they don’t have the time to drink.
My advice for anyone who wants to stop drinking would be to assess your friends and see how their behaviors influence you. I can say from experience that since I’ve become my own best friend here in Boston, I don’t even have the desire to drink. Always make it a point to ensure that your friend group reflects the goals you have for yourself.
Conclusion
I’m proud of myself. These past two months have been very productive. I’ve lost a couple of pounds, I just released another book and emotionally I’m doing pretty well. Spring Break is next week so I will probably have a drink or two, maybe we will see. After this blog comes out I know people will be looking to hold me accountable. Thankfully, I’m not concerned with the opinions of others, this is my life. The goal isn’t to have a streak of “I need X amount of days of sobriety.” For me, the goal is to think higher and learn from my experiences. These past two months of sobriety have taught me that I can drink less and be just fine.
