‘Do What You Have To Do Until You Can Do What You Can Do’ –Oprah Winfrey 

Today I read on CNN how the pandemic is impacting the US economy. CNN reports that 1 in 5 American workers have filed for first-time unemployment benefits since mid-March when lockdown measures began to take place across the US. As I reflected on this stat, I thought about those individuals who still have bills to pay, although they may have lost their jobs. One thing I’ve come to learn about life is that hard times know no demographics, no matter who you are, or what you do, we all experience hard times. 

My heart goes out to the executives, middle managers, and those with careers who have been deeply impacted by the COVID-19. I’m certain some of those people will have to take different measures to provide for themselves and their families. I have first hand experience of what it is like when you may have to take a nontraditional route to pay your bills. Back in 2017, after I had a book on Amazon, graduated from Morehouse College, I was in graduate school, and worked at Raising Canes. 

When I started my graduate studies at Boston University, I was unsure of how to adjust to the heavy demands of my academic load and the high living cost of the city. No one had ever taught me about work-study programs or how to sustain income while being a graduate student. The only thing I knew was that I had rent due and I needed to find a way to pay it on time. 

To my benefit, Boston University had a job board where they would post open positions online exclusively for students. After I saw an ad for a Crew member to join the team at Raising Cane’s for $12/hr, I knew I could get that job and pay my rent. 

Starting at Raising Canes 

My interview went very well; I vividly remember telling the hiring manager that I worked at Taco Bell in high school and how that made me an excellent hire for his team. He agreed, and I was hired on the spot, securing my spot on the team. My job duties consisted of taking orders, cleaning the dining room, and supporting the team anyway I could. My first few days at Raising Cane’s were cool. I found the job to be very easy; all of the customer’s loved my positive attitude, and our dining room used to play a lot of Ariana Grande, which I learned to enjoy. 

Working at Raising Cane’s felt like the days when I worked at Taco Bell at 17. The only difference was, this time, I was one of the oldest people on the team. Everyone else who worked my shifts with me was in undergrad, still trying to find who they were and much younger than I was. 

The Shame 

At the time, I started working at Raising Canes; I was proud of myself because I knew I was making an honest living and doing what I needed to do. It was also incredibly helpful that my manager would let us take home food, so I never went hungry. I knew I could always get a chicken finger plate whenever I wanted. 

On one end I felt good because I was working hard and paying my bills. On the other end, I felt this deep shame that I was working at a fast-food restaurant. During my time at Raising Canes, I had a book on Amazon, I had another book in production, and most notably, I was a Morehouse Man. Morehouse Men are expected to do well, and I felt somewhere inside myself that I was falling short of that by working in fast food. 

Comparing Myself To Others 

Theodore Roosevelt once said, “Comparison is the theft of joy,” and boy was he correct. Scrolling through Instagram, I saw my classmates working at great companies such as IBM, Google, and Linkedin. My friends seemed to be doing well, thriving in their respective cities, and here I was alone in Boston serving chicken tenders. The shame that I felt sat on my mind every day I clocked in. Each day I held my breath, praying that none of my classmates or even worse, my professors would come into the restaurant. The shame I felt also silenced me. I never once told my coworkers what I had done or even that I was in graduate school. Each shift, I would simply do my job, keeping all of my accolades and ambitions to myself. 

Accepting My Truth 

I told only my parents and close friends that I worked at Raising Canes. Today I was scrolling through my photo album and couldn’t find one single photo of me on the clock. I guess I was even trying to convince myself that it never happened. As much shame and disappointment, I felt in myself at that time; my bills were paid. 

Never during my time as a Raising Cane’s crew member was my phone ever disconnected, or was I late for rent. My mom would always tell me how proud she was that I was handling my business as a man. She used to say to me there was nothing nobler than a working man trying to survive. 

The Lesson 

What this situation taught me is that it is okay to do what you have to do, until you can do what you want to do. In life, we have to do things that are uncomfortable, unorthodox, or maybe even embarrassing. Today, I’m proud of myself for being a man that did what he had to do to survive. Never once did I sell any drugs, put myself in harm’s way, or commit any crimes to make ends meet. 

My intention in telling this story is to show people that it is okay to do things that don’t look cute on Instagram. It is okay to feel ashamed in your pursuit to do what you have to do, because I have been there and I survived it. Today, people are losing their jobs left and right, and I know that there are individuals who may have to work a job that they aren’t comfortable with working, but it is okay. Sometimes you do what you have to do to survive, and that is nothing to be ashamed of. 

Conclusion

It is also important that we debunk myths that after college, we are supposed to have everything together. I went to Morehouse, a phenomenal school, and still was trying to find my way to adjust to life. The pressure to be perfect after college is dehumanizing and anxiety-inducing. If you are a college graduate struggling to find your way, I hope this blog lets you know that it is entirely okay to struggle and do nontraditional things to make ends meet. If you are a person who has lost their job and has to go work at a grocery store or do Postmates, that is okay too. I applaud anyone who is working any honest job to provide for themselves and their families. Sometimes surviving doesn’t look as great as thriving, and there is nothing wrong with that. 

Be Inspired.