“Everyone has their own path. Walk yours with integrity and wish all others peace on their journey.
Most people love the Holiday season. Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years traditionally represent a time of festivities and family. I’m one of those people that rather skip it all and go right into the Spring. I get sad during the holidays because, for me, the holidays are a massive reminder of what I don’t currently have. I can’t recall the last time I spent both Christmas and Thanksgiving with my family in Ohio, and that sucks. Thanksgiving is this week and I’ve been thinking a lot about my holiday experiences throughout my twenties. As I continue to become more transparent in my writing, I wanted to share some thoughts on my struggles about the holidays and seasonal depression.
Comparison is the Thief of Joy
Seeing everyone at work talk about their travel plans and family traditions hurts my heart. I can’t help but compare myself and wish I had those same opportunities. How cool would it be to see my parents, grandmother, and siblings? I wish I could fly home to a big warm house filled with good food and laughter.
Whenever I go through moments where I fall into this self-loathing headspace, I do my best to get out of it. It is a priority of mine to remind myself that my journey is my own. Today, this year, I don’t have those luxuries, but it doesn’t mean that I won’t sometime soon. Maybe one day I will be able to fly all over the country regardless of how expensive flights are. I have to keep pressing on and can’t compare myself to others. No matter what, I have to trust that my path is leading to something great and let those thoughts be on the forefront of my mind.
The Pitiful Small Talk
Personal struggles are more comfortable to go through when they aren’t always the topic of discussion. I’ve lost count of how many times at work I’ve been asked about my thanksgiving plans this week. I can endure my reality of not being with my family this year as I have in the past because I’m strong. The proclaiming of it to everyone during the small talk is what stings. After I express that I won’t be flying home to Ohio, I’m bombarded with sighs of pity and concern—I hate it. Nothing irks me more than someone feeling sorry for me. I had to do something about these conversations quickly.
To tackle this issue, when people were inquiring about my Thanksgiving plans, I started telling individuals how I plan to work on my third book. This deviation about the book takes the conversation to a much happier place than dwelling on my “pitiful” holiday plans.
Joining Someone Else’s Family Just Isn’t The Same
While in school, I’ve always joined a classmate or friend for the holidays. I appreciate the warm invitations, but it’s hard trying to jump into someone else’s family. Each family has their inside jokes, their memories, and conversations that they have. I come with warmth in my heart and an open mind, but still, there’s nothing like sharing a meal with your own family.
My excursions with other people’s families have caused me to meet lots of great people, though. I can’t tell you how many of my best friends aunties, uncles, and older siblings I have as Facebook friends after spending the holidays with them.
Community Is Important
Nothing beats family and friends, not degrees, accolades, or even a thriving career. If you don’t have a community to share these things with, they mean nothing. I’ve missed so many holidays on this journey of mine, and it makes me sad. I know in my soul that I have these big dreams and that I have what it takes to accomplish them—but the sacrifice is great. Missing the holidays, being Skyped into family dinners, and not being in any of the pictures from the family gathering is disheartening.
The lack of those intimate moments has caused me to keep my heart open to try to create that family magic with everyone I meet. I always tell myself that “a stranger is just a family member I haven’t met yet.” By treating those around me like family with an open heart, I’ve become a more empathetic person. My empathy allows me to make lots of great friends.
Conclusion
The holidays aren’t the most wonderful time of the year for everyone. Some of us struggle with feelings of isolation, sadness, and grief. If you’re one of those people, like me, do your best to assess your situation and try to evaluate your experience in search of the good. If you’re one that has a thriving family, the means to travel and enjoy time with your loved ones, appreciate that quality time. No matter what drama or negativity your family may possess, savor that time because it truly is a blessing from God.
When I’m a rich and famous TV star, I’m going to have the most festive holidays ever and fly out to all my loved ones. Until then, this year, I plan to spend this holiday time alone to catch up on my writing deadlines, read some books, and get some rest. (I wonder what I’m going to eat.)I’m also going to try my best to smile and be grateful for my journey. I know my hard work and sacrifice will pay off sooner than I can imagine.
Keep me in your prayers as I finish out this year.
Happy Holidays!