“It’s not easy to face your fears and push through them, but it’s essential.”-Sims Wyeth

Last Monday, I released a preorder link for my new book “Halfway Thru My 20s”. I shot the cover back in July and had been working on the manuscript since January. For almost a year I had been working so hard on this project and was pumped to share it with people. Everywhere I went I told anyone who would listen about how I was producing this book. Although I was very excited to release the preorder link, I was also terrified. I had taken 30 days away from posting on social media and was afraid to get back to putting myself out there. 

I knew all day that I had this plan to get back on social media and show my friends what I had been cooking up, but I was paralyzed with fear as the hours went by. I kept pacing through my house, unsure of how people would respond. I couldn’t sit still, I was shaking and even considered drinking red wine to calm my nerves although it was only 11am.As the temptation to make a bad choice lurked I began unpacking what it was that I was so afraid of. A large part of my fear was receiving negative attention. I know what it is like when people screenshot other people’s posts and have full conversations about them. I suspected that when I dropped my cover, and showed everyone what I had been working on, maybe I would be treated the same way. I began thinking of secret conversations that people would have about me and my work. I knew I was going to get attention, be judged, and that scared the crap out of me. 

It’s not easy putting yourself out there especially when you’re selling something. It’s one thing to share a new promotion or acceptance into a prestigious program. It is another to say, here is what I’ve been working on, and to receive your support, I need $12.95. I know that I’m not alone in my fear of being judged on the internet. 

After much trepidation and uncertainty, eventually, I decided that I would get back on social media, share my preorder link, and push through whatever fear I had of being judged by others. For any internet entrepreneur, writer, or artist, being judged on the internet is a part of the process. I would like to share some ways that I overcame my fear of judgment on the internet and hope to inspire you to do the same. 

Remembering My Intentions 

I work to manage my fear of judgment by making a concerted effort to make sure I’m aware of my intent when doing anything. Every time I interact with a person, create some art, or post on social media, I do my best to be mindful of my intentions. I wholeheartedly believe that intention matters. I’ve found it a lot more challenging to be fearful of what others think of me when I know that I’ve done my best to think through my behavior and actions. 

Focusing On My Integrity 

All year, I kept telling people time and time again that I was producing another book. While the fear of hiding and putting myself out there was prevalent, I was more so afraid of going back on my word. One of the most powerful habits that any of us can practice is the practice of doing what we say we are going to do. Once I realized that my integrity was at stake, I had no room to be afraid of judgment. I had to muster up the courage to push forward and release my book preorder link because doing so was putting into action the plan that I had been talking about all year. 

Remembering My Loved Ones 

No matter who we are, we are not going to be loved or appreciated by everyone. I can do my best to be the most friendly, self-deprecating, and loving person I can be, but some people are still not going to appreciate who I am. There are some folk who don’t like me and simply follow posts just to see what they can disagree with or combat me on.

(I wish you could see some of my message threads, people are so bored! #lowlife)

Although these combative followers exist, their efforts don’t carry much weight because I do my best to focus on my family and friends and what they think of my actions. 

When I thought about who might not like my book or trash it behind my back, I drowned out those thoughts by focusing on how excited my Mom was to see what I had produced. By remembering and focusing on my loved ones, I was able to push through the fear of being judged by others who may not love me or even like me. 

Doing It Anyway 

Nelson Mandela once said, “The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.” After a while, we have to show up and allow ourselves to be seen regardless of who will judge us. Fear can be immobilizing and disable us from doing what we desire to do. I was there the morning of my preorder link release. Part of me was excited, but a larger part of me was afraid, but after a while, I had to hit “post” and move on with my day. There’s strength and power that comes with doing something while scared because after it’s done, we may realize that there was nothing to be afraid of all along. 

Conclusion

In conclusion, anyone looking to start a business online, get sales, or gain social media followers will have to show up and may face fear in the process. Whenever you are feeling afraid, remember these tips. Do your best to be aware of your intentions and try to do what you say you’re going to do. Make it a habit to consult with loved ones and be conscious of their support of what it is you’re doing. Lastly, after you’ve done this internal work, show up, put yourself out there fiercely and boldly. I can say with confidence that showing up and allowing yourself to be seen feels far better than sitting in the stands criticizing others. From experience, I can say that implementing these tips will allow you to defeat the fear of being judged on the internet. 

Be Inspired.  

You can also preorder my new book my clicking the link HERE.