“Every day is a new opportunity to begin again. Every day is your birthday.” —Dalai Lama
On January 1st, 12:01 am, I found myself at a house party with my roommates surrounded by people I had just met to usher in the new year. The party took place in our apartment building, two floors up. For about an hour we danced, sang and drank. After that, my roommates said they were headed to Manhattan for the night. When I returned home alone, I didn’t want the night to end. It was a New Year, which meant it was time to party. By this time, it was 1:30 am, and I figured parties were still happening around the city, and I knew that I wanted to get in on the action.
Scrolling on Yelp, I wanted to find a spot where I could listen to some music and have fun. Since it was past midnight, I knew that I could pretty much get in anywhere. According to Yelp, a bar in my neighborhood advertised a live DJ: so I ordered myself an Uber and was ready to turn up.
I’m not sure if it was my burning desire to party that led to this decision or the Kettle One that I drank moments prior, but either way, the choice was made–I was hitting a nearby bar by myself, have a good time, and dance the night away. Walking into the bar, it was everything that I thought I wanted: flashing lights, an open dance floor, a DJ, and no cover fee to enter. Perfect!
It was an older crowd where mostly everyone spoke Spanish. I felt like I was in Mexico or another country. I scoped out my surroundings and tried to figure out where I would position myself. I found an excellent spot near the bartender, close enough to the dance floor if I needed to let loose and close enough to the exit in case of an emergency. Standing near the bar, I analyzed the room, watching everyone enjoy themselves. I recall hearing a bass line that moved me. I started feeling the beat, tapping my foot, and bopping my head as I always do when I hear good music. About 30 seconds later, I was aggressively grabbed by a gorgeous woman making me her unofficial dance partner. She was confident, with thick curly blonde hair, a white t-shirt, and looked at least 10 years older than me.
As we danced, I instantly felt feelings of inferiority. I couldn’t help but ask myself:
Why me?
What made me special?
Why was I who she decided to pursue at that moment?
Before I could even get in my head to think, I felt her soft hands caressing both sides of my face. She swayed her wide hips on beat with the music. Her confidence was radiant, and her body language was fierce. Her hands moved down my body, to my chest to my waist, then legs. Initially, I was caught off guard and unsure of what to do. I had never experienced a woman being so assertive and blatant on the dance floor.
I’m sure my apprehension was apparent on my face because 10 seconds in, a gentleman to my left said,
“C’mon, dance with the woman.”
Once he said that, everyone began looking at us. Was it everything I thought I wanted? Good music. The attention of the crowd. A gorgeous woman to dance with. And now a challenge? Yes, please.
I enjoyed the moment and danced the night away. I could tell I was doing a good job dancing. Once the song concluded and we were finished tearing up the dance floor, I went to wipe my forehead and catch a breath. As I stepped away from the crowd, I felt like something was missing.
Wallet? Check.
Keys? Check.
`iPhone?…wait…iPhone? Gone.
Quickly I scurried back to the bar to see if I had left it there, nothing. I checked the bathroom, nothing again. I grabbed my Apple Watch to help me alarm my iPhone, only to find that my iPhone had gone “offline.” Something was odd about this situation. When I walked into the bar, I had a fully charged phone; why would my phone be offline? I did three different laps around the entire building, searching for my phone. After those laps, everything just kind of blurred together. I was too many Vodka lemonades in to even think clearly or figure out what to do, so I left. Since I had no iPhone to call my Uber, I decided to walk home. About half a mile away from the bar, my Apple Watch informed me that my iPhone was “left behind.” I was so frustrated. How could this be?
I knew that someone had to have hidden my iPhone from me and intentionally disconnected it from my Apple Watch. Was it the woman I danced with? Was it the man who was rooting us on? Was it the doorman who patted me down when I entered? To this moment, I still don’t know.
When I arrived back home around 2:30 am I used Find my iPhone on my MacBook to learn that my iPhone was moving about New York City. It was then it dawned on me that my phone was officially stolen, and there was no way I was going to be able to track the person down fast enough to get it back, especially in my ‘lit’ state of mind.
The following day on January 1st, I was overwhelmed with disappointment. I couldn’t help but beat myself up, reflecting on how I could be so reckless, impressionable, and desperate. My desperation led me to a bar alone in New York while grossly inebriated. My lack of clarity and judgment caused me to lose my iPhone. I jokingly shared on Facebook that my iPhone was stolen in New York, that 2022 was canceled, and 2023 would be my year.
I sat in shame, pity, and embarrassment for the entire day that I had lost my phone. I also had a throbbing headache that kept me immobilized. Looking on Facebook from my laptop, it seemed that “everyone else” had a good time ringing in the new year. As the hours went by I, saw people sharing that they were starting their new goals, habits, and resolutions. Meanwhile, here I was, pitiful, iPhoneless and hungover.
Is this how a year should start? I don’t think so.
This entire experience taught me a slew of lessons, most of which I will share another time, but one that compelled me to write this blog.
So often, we put so much pressure on starting the year strong. January 1st is the day we are supposed to start the new diet, begin the new project, or abstain from any vice that held us back the year before. Unfortunately, I didn’t get to do that this year. On New Year’s Day, I laid around all day, hungover, watching TV, crippled with anxiety on how I would get my phone back. The entire day was a struggle and a blur.
On January 2nd, when I woke up, I decided to shower, get dressed, go for a walk and tackle the day. I went to TMobile, where they gave me instructions on how to get a replacement phone and shut the other one down. I had to file a claim and pay an insurance deductible of $249. (So much for the Michael Kors watch I was going to buy myself for my birthday. #Tragic) My new phone has already shipped and will be here tomorrow. This entire situation sucked, but it’s better than paying $1000 for an entirely new phone. I didn’t plan on starting my 2022 this way, but things happen.
When I started to get frustrated with how my year was starting out, I had to remind myself that I could still have a good year even though I didn’t have a joyous New Year’s Eve or New Year’s Day. Every day I wake up, and my feet touch the ground is another opportunity to get it right. Every morning is a new start, and each day is a new beginning. It’s not about how I start but how I finish. From this experience, I have found a new level of self-awareness and clarity.
Will I ever go to an NYC bar by myself while ‘turnt up’ on vodka? No.
Moving forward will I allow myself to get distracted by a gorgeous woman? No.
Will I beat myself up because I didn’t start the new year positively? No, I can’t. It’s in the past.
Moving forward, will I take each day as another opportunity to start fresh? Yes, Yes, Yes!
It is okay if you are like me and did not start the year how you wanted. Don’t allow the mishaps of New Year’s Eve to determine how your entire year will go. In the days of the pandemic, I’m sure many people didn’t spend NYE most festively, and there is nothing wrong with that. Every day we wake up, we get the opportunity to get it right and try again. Regardless of my New Years’ Eve not going the best, I will still remain positive and do my best to have a fantastic year. I hope you join me and do the same.