Pay no attention to what the critics say. A statue has never been erected in honor of a critic.” — Jean Sibelius
I want to preface this blog by saying that I have a lot of love in my life. It is a fact that people love me, admire me, and support me. Some go out of their way to constantly express how I’ve inspired them and how they enjoy following my journey. The love and support feel good. Unfortunately, for every ten people who love me, I always have that one who doesn’t. These individuals disrespect me to my face, bash me on social media and trash me behind my back.
I’m a strong Black man and used to be bullied in my teenage years. I’ve developed a thick skin over time, but there is one new battle I’m facing. Recently I’ve found myself as the victim of some new type of criticism. Of all the things that people could attack, whether it be my looks, my fashion sense or my home—in my experience, it seems that my work as an author is the thing most notably attacked.
The first instance I can recall of a person attacking my books happened back in 2016. I vividly remember being in a talent competition during my senior year of undergrad. In this talent showcase, we had to do monologues about why we were the best contestant in the competition. Most people use these opportunities to bash their competitors.
One of my competitors started with, “One of my contestants wrote a book, TRASH!” As he threw a random piece of tissue in front of the packed theatre.
Another time, I recall someone who I considered a friend taking a photo of himself “reading” my first book with a Snapchat filter that was supposed to look like me, mocking one of my social media posts. I also recall a moment when I was in this Groupchat with about 600 people, all of whom were classmates. In this Groupchat, one of my classmates put an entire paragraph with his negative thoughts on my book. He attributed his authority to the fact that he was a psychology major and that my oversimplification of “dealing with this thing called life” was a stretch.
I can’t lie, that sH*t hurts!
I’ve worked incredibly hard to create my books, and it is something I genuinely enjoy doing. I don’t know many people who have written books at my age, let alone three times.
This week I had a person comment on my Youtube video of my live chapter reading of my third book and expressed that my book was “trash.” This person had been trolling me on social media all day, so I knew he was trying to get a reaction, but still, I felt disrespected. Before I went to sleep, I couldn’t help but reflect on why people seem to go for my books when they want to bring me down. I’ve come to some conclusions that I must share.
Vulnerability Can Lead To Criticism
Creating anything is an act of vulnerability. Whether you’re an author, a chef, a singer, or have a business, putting something out into the world takes courage because it’s scary. In life, there are always individuals brave enough to show up and allow themselves to be seen while others don’t. It takes bravery to go live on social media, start a website, or create a product. When putting anything out there, you’re giving haters something to attack. When we, as creators, do the ‘actual’ work of creating things for public consumption, criticism is inevitable. I have to remind myself daily that my acts of vulnerability by sharing my passion can lead to criticism. Still, I can’t allow the criticism of a bystander to discourage me from showing up in the world.
Focus On Facts Not Feelings
I’m an emotional person; I’m not afraid to own that. When my books and work are disrespected, it does hurt my feelings, but I have to be strong. My mother always used to tell me, “feelings can be fooling.” I had to remind myself of this when this “dude” commented on my YouTube video and told me my book was trash. At that moment, my feelings were hurt, but factually, that brother didn’t even watch my entire video. The fact is that person was just trying to break me and bring me down. The truth is people have bought my book in bulk, and there are people all over the country who have purchased my written work and enjoyed it. When dealing with negative criticism, I have to focus on positive facts, not negative feelings.
I Have To Remain True To Myself
I love writing. I’m up right now at 9 am whipping up this blog because I love writing. It is a natural expression for me and something I genuinely enjoy doing. I will never stop writing books regardless of my book sales, people’s opinions, or haters. I already have the idea and table of contents for book #4. This website will never go away. I will always have this platform to write, share, and hopefully inspire. I had to remind myself that I write because I love it, and I will never allow a critic to stop me from doing something I love, and you shouldn’t either.
Final Thoughts
In conclusion, yes, my feelings were hurt this week when someone told me my books were trash. Indeed, sentiments like these occasionally rear their ugly head. I can now confidently say that these comments will not affect me anymore. It has become clear to me that creating is vulnerable, and when you are vulnerable, you can be attacked. It’s also important to focus on positive facts and not ruminate on negative feelings when dealing with mundane criticism from critics. Lastly, I must continue to be true to my authentic self and do what feels right in my soul regardless of who appreciates it or not.
After reading this blog, I hope that you, too, find something you are passionate about and get about putting it out into the world. If you already are, I hope this blog has given you some encouragement and motivation to keep pushing forward. I’d like to end with a powerful quote from Theodore Roosevelt,
“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly…”